Wednesday, May 27, 2009

one of the days when solitude is bliss!

white fence bordering the green fields. The contrast was very evident even in this twilight that was closer to the night than the day. The fence looked as if it had been painted just that afternoon. The crescent Moon low on the horizon, just above the only tree manning the entire landscape. Scattered cattle grazing. birds(very few) flying across the sky making a pattern that would put the constellations to shame. The Sun that is already rising elsewhere still left its 'after effects' proving how powerful it indeed is. A few clouds hovering the west sky accentuating the golden light. I just hope I wasn't driving, otherwise I could have had my gaze fixed at this picture postcard bettering scene. With music in my ears, this put a smile on my face after a dreary and a long day at work. I wonder, had I taken my camera along, would I have been able to capture it all? But in hindsight, it really does not matter. If I did have a chance of seeing this over and over again on my desktop (arggggggg.. computer has taken over my life, cant write anything without mentioning it), it might have taken the magic away. Thank God for the lovely sunsets and starry nights, only then can we look forward to sunrises!

Monday, May 04, 2009

walkin away

I hope you do understand how difficult it was for me to write the last two lines?"
"why? I thought you really meant it"

"Duh! Yes I did mean what I wrote, but I wanted to add something else too. Oh, and I did get more than just one word from your side in response."
"what did you want to write?"

":-), I am glad you asked (On a lighter note you seem to have got my questioning trait :D ). Nothing much, I jus
t wanted to say no one can replace you. And I am sure no one will ever love you more than I do. (I know, sounds arrogant, sorry tried my best for a better line, but considering my muddled state of mind, I am just about able to string words together that make some sense)."


"I seemed to have lost the knack of making interesting and meaningful conversation"
"Dont say like that...."


"Sorry, I seem to always instill this sense of sadness in you sometimes. But ya I wanna thank you for all the time you spent with me (I never knew it was limited). Those are the memories that still keep me going now, truly. And you can never imagine how much it still means to me! :) "
The sky is white wet with the light of the moon. ah, the lake will be simply brilliant in the moon lit, otherwise dark sky, just gazing away into the distance. Actually I do go to a lake here, the only difference is that i don't have a have a hand to hold on to. (now thats y i shd learn swimming, can then do it alone!)


The past is always there to cut you when you are at the weakest point  and watch you bleed!! not to death,no-no-no, its not so generous. All alone, but ya, i have deserved most of the stick I have been receiving"

"All I have to say is "Thanks" for being there for so long. I do not need you anymore.(sorry if this sounded rude, i Dint mean to sound rude)"

Sigh!! . I know  you dint mean to sound rude)"

Footsteps leading away, only on pair though. Bright light shone through from the end which was blocked by the very person whose foot steps are hardly audible now. "I should move from this place, staying here would only prove to the world something I dint want to share. Its too bright, need to shield my eyes.
Well, I keep my mouth shut when I have time to speak, and when I do decide to open my mouth to speak, the moment has passed! The result, I just start speaking and living in the past. There are so many times I decided to end it all, but the responsibilities on me, outweigh any other thoughts for now. I have to stick to my responsibilities for now, to get it over with first....
I guess this is one of the days with nothing on my mind except introspection. It's bad to have days like this pretty often. Just that I am going through this phase in life, where the best way to tackle it is to stay as calm as possible and believe that no one actually cares. That should bring some peace. It does actually"

PS: A friend of mine read it and was like "is this a private conversation"? I almost burst into laughter. I would not put up a personal conversation on a public forum like this! Just to make it clear, neither I nor anyone I know has had any 'emotional' 'heart melting/warming' 'awwwwing' 'depressive' 'saddening' blah blah conversation as above! If anyone of you had this type of conversation, my apologies.