Wednesday, January 03, 2007

First step into the Abyss!

"shit,....... this is not how i thought this would be!" ...
carefully balancing his legs on the crevices of the rock
hand gripping the tree growing off the rock face..the other still
struggling to hold on to a small opening.. damn..."Blessed by the
Devil himself"... Looking up he can still see the rock edge on
which he was standing moments ago... he sees another 'he' standing
on the very edge looking down at him mockingly.menacingly..Laughing
at his own fate....
Warm liquid dripping from his face onto his hand gave some comfort
from the cold breeze.... he was almost 20 feet away from
safety...and getting to the top was almost
impossible....considering that he could not hold onto where he was
now! looking over his shoulder towards the was one of the
most picturesque sight he has ever seen...the sun at its biggest
ever...disappearing just behind the ocean..ah the ocean...'a blue
water body, managing to conceal all the turbulent happenings
underneath and still maintain a calm exterior'... his mind was
wandering....isn’t there storms that manage to ruffle the seemingly
calm exterior of the ocean?.. the calmness in the
environment....the 'orangish sky' ocean with streaks of
orange reflecting the 'remains' of the once dominant sun..'is it
really that red all around or is it'... nothing lasts for ever..the
smile ,the frown....cold he shivers...'this cold
breeze is killing me'... pain is such a funny long as you
dont pay attention to it, it will not hurt you..once you give into grips your mind like a start sliding...into the
abyss..Only the strong return...only the strong..

Clearing his mind of all the 'pleasant' thoughts!..' I gotta get
out of this 'place', shouting for help will not help.. There is not
a soul in place'...The madness in him subsided.. Its really funny
that only when you have everything to lose you realize the
importance of not doing certain things that you did and also things
that you ought to have done but you dint.. He smiled.. 'I have
nothing to lose!.. no body would miss me anyways... except maybe
for the plastic cards in his wallet'... haha..a loud laugh echoing
through to the vast ocean..There's humor in all things in
life...just got to figure this out. like a beating heart in every
living person...

'I cant hold on anymore'...even the rush of adrenalin...the help
from upstairs to hold on...seems to waning....weak arms and
legs...bruises all liquid blinding one eye...'i never
thought i would this lonely...f*%k you..i am not....i don’t F*&$*n
care..'...the second time the decision had to be made..'i would see
you again...maybe not'...a small slip..on his way he was
a different feeling...looking at the cliff and the sky in the
background..moving further and further away..smiling..there's
nothing i can do...all the memories flashing before his eyes..His parents, friends and..Things that happened just a few moments ago. Somehow this was satisfying..A strong reply to pain and suffering...'You cannot hurt me further'...'Sorry Mom..please forgive me'..wind rushing through his ears..a different feeling when you fly for the first time...One final look at the sky and he closed his eyes with one thought lingering on his mind...'i should have not jumped in the first place'...

'When the heart's either a lot of joy or a lot of pain'
- contributed by 'smee! :)