journey.....

his hands moved swiftly, as if it had a mind of its own. you could not see his face, bent over and covered by his long unkempt hair. it had been quite some time since he had played. and it was ages ago that he had actually played this long. his face buried in his long hair looking like a lifeless tree in the night. its amazing how people's imagination takes them where they could never go.
It had been a long day and probably like any other day. they did not need him now. how many times does he have to go through this. This was a paradise sometime back, not anymore. All that he dreamed about, all that he had learned, all the people he had met, all the people he cared for, all the people he
thought were behind him seemed to vanish in a moment.
The sting this time was too much. All he had by his side was his music, music and music. everything else was nothing more than a mirage. the few shots of vodka he had a while back seemed to take him to an entirely different place. life seemed peaceful, like floating away. This was the only time his mind felt peaceful, and he could think straight. It wont take long, he better stop and start listening. the more closer it gets, maybe the music wont sound
sweet. the place was so quiet, he could hear his mind. all the things that go on in that small place, ruined what he was, what he had become and the only way out was the way he went out. The irony was his mind made a decision on this too and he hated it.
Never had he felt this empty, absolutely no longing to go on. It was similar to the feeling one gets when you stand in the center of a shopping center or an airport terminal. You look around and find everyone have their own priorities, a sea of peoply moving all around you, and no one to stop, for you.
people had come and gone, no one stayed back with him, maybe he was too foolish to think someone would like to be with him. Everyone seemed to find better alternatives, but he was happy, atleast he was considered as one of the alternatives, maybe they liked him a little. This thought made his smile and
it felt wierd, he dint know when was the last time he actually smiled on his own.
Finally he could see it coming, slowly he lost his senses in his hands and he felt drowsy. it wont be long now. It was somehow not the way he pictured this, he did not see any of his past flashing before his eyes, nor could he feel any regret, nor was faces of his 'close' ones come before his eyes. He could just hear someone call out his name softly. It felt good, someone calling him felt like he is being accepted somewhere, where, he did not care. his lips turned upwards one last time. One small prayer.
He was thankful for not being allergic to alcohol, the inscrutable pain that he was going to experience would have killed him twice over otherwise. Its a very windy dull day. the storm raging and always threating to hit the coast. the sweeping winds that carry that the ocean along the shoreline as if it had to destroy something.
The last thought in his mind was "life is for living, and I do no want to live it alone" and he felt glad.