the Bonnie 'D'

Serious Disclaimer: This post has no reference to Boney M, nor the 'D' company nor
Bonnie Irani( where did he come from!?).



The usual beginning to the day. The alarm rang. You put it to snooze. Then it rings again. You snooze it again. hope that time suddenly stops but you are not slowed by time. You can sleep for ages that way! Struggling to open my eyes I chant the daily mantra, fold my bed, put my phone for charge and run to the bathroom!

Sometimes i feel i can sleep for ever if there is no water in this world to wash my face!..Just a few moments ago i was cribbing so badly...now i am all set to go to the next step. Catch the bus to work ( works brings a :-( to my face, but still i am eager to go for reasons other than work :D). Walking down, was confident to get onto the earlier bus. reached the stop and was eagerly(?) waiting for the bus. 5 mins..No signs of any bus..10 mins still no signs of any bus...15 mins...patience ran out..Called my friend to confirm that the bus dint come (or we missed the bus...does not matter which one...it was gone)..
Now the second part… was too lazy to walk down to another bus stop (2 KM away ) and catch a city bus to another place to catch the company bus. Now you see exactly why i was lazy. Its freakin too much work! looked for an auto and after haggling with a couple of guys finally got an auto to go where i wanted to go. i was relieved. Finally on the way to office. Reached the 'spot', the meter was exactly 32 bucks, got off and gave him a 100 ruppee.. .’Saaaar, no change saar'. Hmmm give him a 50 rupee note.... 'Saaar i have only 10 rupees’ saar, neeve Bonnie mardthaidhira (you are my first passenger for today and Bonnie means you are the first one to pay today)..no change'! . Arrey so what the..what the ...freakin what shd i do...in middle of nowhere where would i get change. No time. Took the 10 ruppee coin(s) from him. walked down to the other side of this 300 feet wide road (i am sure its this wide). 5 mins no bus...10 mins no bus...argggggg …patience running out soon. Finally the company bus..how i love to see the sight of this bus! ( I am sarcastic). Got into the bus after 'flashing' my ID-COD (when the driver asked where is ur ID-COD ..hahah... :D ) .. he gave me the book and a pen to make an entry as to what time he came to the stop. This was done normally by the first person who got into the bus. and then i realized i was the first ONE....ah! I made Bonnie again..though he dint say the word..

It was a suprise that i found my friend getting into the bus in the next stop... Was chatting along the way till we reached a 'Jam'. It was unlikely at this time but I decided to ignore it and take a much needed nap..15 mins...opened my eyes...errr...'Are we at the same place mate?' ...'yes we are'...shit...what a day! ... the reason the bus dint move an inch...there was this huge mob of people blocking the road just ahead...red flags...loud noises...there were 3 cops in all. And over 300 people for sure!
waited ...waited...patience ran out. at the wrong time....it was 8 already...and the last bus from this place going in the opposite direction must have just left...damn...wat quick thinking ..duh!

somehow sensed the crowd getting a little restless...heard 2-3 'Bangs' on the sides of the bus..realized before we are burnt inside the bus...lets run.. my friend and I got off the bus and to the other side of the mob hoping to catch an auto taking a U turn....found one but it was already occupied...the driver requested the 'occupant' to allow the 2 poor souls inside the auto...he agreed and we happily got in...here i have to mention that this is the first time i got into a running auto!! seriously this guy took off before i got one leg inside...somehow got in...survived yet another scare..
Ok..now this guy...the auto driver dropped us off midway saying he is gonna take another route completely..got off...and asked him how much...guess what he said... 'saaaar neeve Bonnie saaar'!!! freakin …am I the Bonnie man for this day or what!!! paid him the correct change as he dint have any money...as this was his Bonnie...argg..who invented this word....This has to be the Bonnie Day!!!

Took another auto from there to another place where i would be getting a company bus...got to the stop and waited patiently for the bus..5 mins, no Bus...10 Mins, No bus... 15 Mins, No bus...patience running out slowly...
Finally a bus emerges.. Some how i have this feeling that this is the same bus that was supposed to be burnt down...When I got down, there were only 5 poeple in this bus...But now the entire Bus is packed and i have no place to sit..Dint get into the bus..waited 'patiently' for the next bus...cursed all the bad people i know..for this horrendous journey...

Finally after another 15 mins got a bus to office...un fortunately sat on the wrong side of the bus...sun shining directly onto your face!...got burnt...baked...reached office like a roasted chicken :(...
imagine my plight....2 buses... 3 auto's...lots of walking involved...running involved(in the auto remember?)... and more importantly all the BONNIE's...
left home at 6:40...reached office at 9:40...a 3 hour sightseeing trip...(the actual travel time is 1 hour!!)
the Result...got up 5-10 mins from the next day... but as i am writing this...i realize i missed my bus today too!! but the trip was not all this bad!! :)

dazed..

The alarm goes off. Yet another day. The room is so dark. ah..this is the daily routine...A bird..it flies so gracefully in the sky. A group of birds. a perfect orchestra. They can change
direction when they wish. But they fly anywhere that they want never sticking to a definitive
path. Never holding on to any direction. All's well they say. As long as they get food and they
reach their destination. I always wonder. Why cant we do this. Why are we afraid of the Change.
Why are we still holding our line even though it seems utterly hopeless. Why are we not as free in mind as the birds. "free as the birds"!
I keep thinking, speaking to myself, practice the lines. Over and over again. But the day never
comes. it keeps evading me! I really dont wanna think. The more you think theIts just one bumpy
ride after another.. But we all reach where we wanna go.. but it really not the lovely journey you have been
imagining..'Perseverance is the key my friend!' .. haha...thats too funny...
Looking out of a window at anytime...a vendor on the street smiles.. the small girl teasing her
dog is all smiles..the mother who is trying to tame her ever so vibrant kid..in between all the
irritation on her face..she smiles...the kid smiles...the frown is turing into a smile...but its
like a mask..a shroud on a tearful person...
Time to go.. this may not be there tommorrow... I may not be here to see it.. 'Life's short..enjoy
it' ..haha..ur getting funnier by the moment.. i should appreciate ur humour..its almost like u
can predict whats gonna happen...argg..this alarm does not give up.. ah, i remember, Its called
Perseverance..always keeps reminding me..time's up dude!.. u better be prepared..i wish i can shut of all the things.. Wanna get into This helium balloon.. and fly away...I just need some colours to paint my world..all kinds of colours..black..grey...but its too expensive..can i afford it?
I cant feel my feet..But as i look behind me..I have left my foot prints in the sand..its still there... 'Yeah..I was there'. . 'U can definetely go ahead and do better'... i swear u should be a script write of a comedy movie.. haha...ur too funny... i envy u..

I can see it. I can hear it. The storm is getting closer. I am sure of this. am I prepared?

First step into the Abyss!

"shit,....... this is not how i thought this would be!" ...
carefully balancing his legs on the crevices of the rock face...one
hand gripping the tree growing off the rock face..the other still
struggling to hold on to a small opening.. damn..."Blessed by the
Devil himself"... Looking up he can still see the rock edge on
which he was standing moments ago... he sees another 'he' standing
on the very edge looking down at him mockingly.menacingly..Laughing
at his own fate....
Warm liquid dripping from his face onto his hand gave some comfort
from the cold breeze.... he was almost 20 feet away from
safety...and getting to the top was almost
impossible....considering that he could not hold onto where he was
now! looking over his shoulder towards the west...it was one of the
most picturesque sight he has ever seen...the sun at its biggest
ever...disappearing just behind the ocean..ah the ocean...'a blue
water body, managing to conceal all the turbulent happenings
underneath and still maintain a calm exterior'... his mind was
wandering....isn’t there storms that manage to ruffle the seemingly
calm exterior of the ocean?.. the calmness in the
environment....the 'orangish sky'....blue ocean with streaks of
orange reflecting the 'remains' of the once dominant sun..'is it
really that red all around or is it'... nothing lasts for ever..the
smile ,the frown....cold breeze...ah...now he shivers...'this cold
breeze is killing me'... pain is such a funny thing...as long as you
dont pay attention to it, it will not hurt you..once you give into
it..it grips your mind like a vice...you start sliding...into the
abyss..Only the strong return...only the strong..

Clearing his mind of all the 'pleasant' thoughts!..' I gotta get
out of this 'place', shouting for help will not help.. There is not
a soul in place'...The madness in him subsided.. Its really funny
that only when you have everything to lose you realize the
importance of not doing certain things that you did and also things
that you ought to have done but you dint.. He smiled.. 'I have
nothing to lose!.. no body would miss me anyways... except maybe
for the plastic cards in his wallet'... haha..a loud laugh echoing
through to the vast ocean..There's humor in all things in
life...just got to figure this out. like a beating heart in every
living person...

'I cant hold on anymore'...even the rush of adrenalin...the help
from upstairs to hold on...seems to waning....weak arms and
legs...bruises all around...red liquid blinding one eye...'i never
thought i would this lonely...f*%k you..i am not....i don’t F*&$*n
care..'...the second time the decision had to be made..'i would see
you again...maybe not'...a small slip..on his way he went...it was
a different feeling...looking at the cliff and the sky in the
background..moving further and further away..smiling..there's
nothing i can do...all the memories flashing before his eyes..His parents, friends and..Things that happened just a few moments ago. Somehow this was satisfying..A strong reply to pain and suffering...'You cannot hurt me further'...'Sorry Mom..please forgive me'..wind rushing through his ears..a different feeling when you fly for the first time...One final look at the sky and he closed his eyes with one thought lingering on his mind...'i should have not jumped in the first place'...

'When the heart rules..it's either a lot of joy or a lot of pain'
- contributed by 'smee! :)

partition

"please stay back"......
The past still full of mysteries....things that seemed so right at 'that' moment don't seem all that right now.
Standing in front of the mirror...ah mirror...mirror is such a wonderful creation...it lets you see the past...to the very footsteps leading to where you are now..
Things from a world so perfect cannot be compared to what he is seeing in the mirror. The disheveled state of his hair, though he did not get up from the bed now, the tear filled eyes, gave him a more hazy picture of himself and his past. Not that it lied. Maybe this is how he should be seeing this. the light sound of music in the background only accentuating his tears rather than pacify him....he felt sorry for himself....halfway into the quicksand...and now he wants to get out...
"please stay back"....
as these words left his dry lips, i bet even his ears could not interpret it. "What's the point". It's all over now. Sometimes everything is all wrong and nothing can save the ship. It has to go.
"please stay back"......
The past has gone. He wishes that the present lasts for an eternity. But time is slipping away. He took comfort in the thought that at least the misery will not be long..ah...what a maniac!... If there was no gravity, he could have escaped all this. Damn.. 3 feet is all..he is back on earth in a moment.
The plots in his mind come back to haunt him.. maybe he should have not...or rather in a diff way..."forget it!..i can see it in the reflection, i don't need anyone to point out"....
"please come back"....
Time waits for no one....The future is just a moment away! and hoping time stays back...arggg...is something a fool would not hope...but,
"please stay back"...
Look beyond the mirror...there might be a window...a window..that will show you things that you missed...things that you came across....things that rattled you..things that helped you...OBSERVE...look at all the others...learn...take comfort...go on....

Carnival

Round the corner, as they say. Things can change in an instant, just a moment. from good to bad, bad to good. But something missing is the change from bad to worse.
Dim light contrasting the fully decorated environment. Reminiscent of the past glory. It was a mystery as to why it was still here. Did anyone notice it? No. Is there anyone who cared? You must be kiddin! No. Living in the past appears so fruitful. Yet so deceiving. With the biting wind. So many people outside yet no one. An occasional smile. Billy Joel sings along "Yes, they're sharing a drink they call loneliness, But it's better than drinking alone ".
You wait for the corner. the ever so evasive corner. Its not all that bad. It’s only gonna get worse. Day after day. You just sit there, and wait, and wait for the corner. You have gone past so many times. You know it's not there. But you still wait for it. Same things you see. You wonder, are you being watched? You only hope there is someone else traveling in the same path as you are. The path that does not lead anywhere. sense of roundness to it. Remind of the past so very often. Nothing has changed. But very small details that are like sugar to a cup of coffee.
It just takes a moment. To go round the corner. Maybe next time.

55 Words

After the rambling, Rize picks up from here

The message had been clear....Last train...Black attire....Brown briefcase....Somehow he failed his tormentors....This was his last task...supposedly...He feared the worst...he had 20 hours before time runs out...going back without the briefcase meant doom..for him.. and certain death, for her...He searched for his car keys..

Now its the turn of El Furibundo...The curse is forwarded!..

Continuance...

I can hear someone blow their horn..But it sounds so far away.....I, for once seemed to ignore the music....I try to see who it is... But I don’t see the source....Looks like it was meant to be ignored.....I continue...I can hear it again...This time a little louder....The mirror playing tricks on me? I have to look back. and ....

Does he want the same thing as I want?..Can he see what I’m trying......there seems to be no way he can pull it off..?I am equiped..Music is pretty powerful.. My adrenalin is my music...was I over confident? NO....

Unforeseen forces trying to put me off track....seems that the wind will blow my head off if it were a little more fierce......should I go? Shouldn’t I? What was I thinking.....I don’t see him anymore....I hate reflections..of self or others...They tell you what you cannot see..Things that you would not like to see...that dark side......things that reflect...Now it is again playing tricks on me..or is it?...I have to turn back...I had to be sure that I was the only one..He was not behind me..Infact he had gained on me and was right alongside .. Almost intimidating...I have no fear...I step on it...I cut across the seemingly impossible breeze.....He follows..We pass that last obstacle on our way....Nothing can stop me now..For now it was impossible to resist..and he was the motivation for me to reach speeds that i would never have even attempted..but sanity was a thing of the past..The beats are getting faster...My hand tries to keep in touch...where is he? he is not ahead of me..ah! Not bad...

this wind...argh!...I would have loved this breeze to blow onto my face with all its fury on any other day....But not now......I just feel the bitterness...my hands seem to tremble...I did not want him to see it..It's psyching me out.. It's slowing me down..But it's not that bad...it's slowing him too..

The seemingly clear path is filled with obstacles..Life is so much different when you are faster than the rest.. Things that you would never notice now are more important...normally its supposed to be the other way around.....you seem to go through life observing very less because you never make an attempt...but with the right message...you will start noticing...Now I realize that I should have observed when I had the time to observe...OBSERVE...look for subtle changes in the environment...you can keep in touch with god..

He has edged past me...Just a few corners and we have to stop...my brain has stopped functioning...Go GO Go...the music is enchanting...i am in its spell....I cant stop..i cant give up...I cant be left behind....Go Go Go....we have almost reached the end... got to stop...stop the damn music...I hope my brain takes over....it has observed all the things that i have never seen before..

One last look ahead...is there an opening?.. yes..but, he cannot see it... I slow down...I look at him...he is slowing too..I know I can make it through... I can feel it..In just a second I through...I look back..no signs..All around..it was a different story! ...It was great...rejuvenating actually… a bitter pill.....

hmmmmm

'my life is brilliant...my love is pure...i saw an angel...of that i am sure........you're beautiful..you're beautiful..' ..... i just open my eyes...see through the window...i still have half way to go....dunno what i wanted to see outside.... did not realize i was awake..looked around to see if there were any familiar faces...people turning left and then right..back again..like a boat in the stormy sea...trying to catch some sleep...life is crazy..the sun did not fade away as yet... trying to remind us that there was still some sand that has to pass to the other side ...but the hint was never taken..it's over for us and we are done with it...is it the same the other way?... well that was a question not many seemed to answer for the simple reason that they never saw the transition... when they awoke... Darkness had worked its magic.. and no one complained.. it was over...from both sides......
'You're beautiful..... You're beautiful.....You're beautiful, it's true......'

blastoff!!

ok. I am finally writing something. For my BLOG! Why am i so excited about this whole thing. I have been thinking about the name for this blog for quite some time. With more than a little help from my friends,especially Du and Zon, i could zero in on this one. Now when it's time to write something here, my mind has gone grazing. Happens all the time!
Now what to expect in my blog.You can expect........Or you will be reading........................... ........................................... Timeout!!!
Damn! This thing takes a lot more time than what i anticipated. Bascially i do not know what i am going to pen down. So no preset mindset please. Be prepared to be taken to the brink of sanity (maybe over to the other side ). :D
This is all i can think of now. Ah! one entry in the blog! Finally.
cheers.